Sunday, March 28, 2010

Push me down, build me up

It seems I am being attacked. It started Friday, and I have been struggling ever since. Just when I thought I was getting a handle on it, another stronger attack last night. This time, it brought me to my knees. Thankfully, I was at church. During worship. I just became overwhelmed, stopped singing and fell to my seat and started praying for God's cover and his strength. I just kept repeating, I need You, I need You, I need You. While I was saying that, this came to me and I wrote it down, and I'm going to write it here, so I can come back to it whenever I need to..

Lord, I run to the cross. You are the only One who can help me. You are my strength and my Savior, without you I am weak. I need You and You are there. I cry out, it's You who comes running. It is You who never leaves or makes fun of me in my moments of weakness, instead you reach out to me and say "It WILL be ok" and I believe You. I believe only You.

I wrote that last night, and then was reminded of these Psalms this morning by a friend of mine..(thank you Kelsey)

Psalms 54
Save me, O God, by your name;
vindicate me by your might. Hear my prayer, O God;
listen to the words of my mouth. Strangers are attacking me;
ruthless men seek my life—
men without regard for God.
Selah Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Let evil recoil on those who slander me; in your faithfulness destroy them. I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you I will praise your name, O LORD,
for it is good. For he has delivered me from all my troubles,
and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes.

Psalms 55
Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught
at the voice of the enemy,

at the stares of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger.
My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death assail me.
Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest-
I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;
I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm."
Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city.
Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.
Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.
If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.

Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the grave, [b]
for evil finds lodging among them.
But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.

Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.
He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,

even though many oppose me.
God, who is enthroned forever,
will hear them and afflict them—
men who never change their ways
and have no fear of God.
My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.

His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.
Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;

he will never let the righteous fall.
But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you.
Psalm 56
Be merciful to me, O God, for men hotly pursue me;
all day long they press their attack.
My slanderers pursue me all day long;
many are attacking me in their pride.
When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.

In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me?
All day long they twist my words;
they are always plotting to harm me.
They conspire, they lurk,
they watch my steps,
eager to take my life.
On no account let them escape;
in your anger, O God, bring down the nations.
Record my lament;
list my tears on your scroll
are they not in your record?
Then my enemies will turn back
when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise-
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

I am under vows to you, O God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered me from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

Psalm 57
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.

I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who fulfills {his purpose} for me.
He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me;
God sends his love and his faithfulness.
I am in the midst of lions;
I lie among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.
My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth

I know this is something I will get through, but not on my own. With the prayers of my family and my friends, and of course my own. I know this is true.

This is fitting