It is said, that when you are married, the chase it over. The fun stops. You have him and he has you.. there is no more need to try to impress each other. To a point, I believe this. I think you can stop pretending you love that sports team, or that rock band. But you should never stop trying to make the other person smile, or laugh or feel wanted and needed.
I was watching one of "my shows" this morning and it really made me think. In this particular episode, the wife was having issues with her husband and going to the park with their baby to sit and talk to a single dad who brings his child to the same park. She told her sister he makes her feel beautiful and funny and wanted. He made her feel listened to. A part of her understood how this was wrong and went against her vows and against the sanctity of their marriage, but her innate need to feel needed and to feel like she mattered, over powered that part of her that screamed "No! Don't do it!"
As women(YES I'm going to go out on a limb and speak for all women, even those who's Tarzan is actually Jane, women are women.. ) we have a need, I suppose, to feel like we are not only beautiful and sexy, but that we are also heard. That when we have an issue or something neat to tell you, that you aren't just fake listening. We want to know that even though, we see each other day in and day out, that the sight of us just makes you smile. We want to know that we matter in your day to day, we need to know that when we're home all day with the kids, knee deep in laundry and baby poop and up to our eyeballs in and we cannot stand to hear it one more time.. the word "MOM!" Or when we've been face to face with angry bosses and back stabbing co-workers,we want to know when you come through that door, the first thing you want to see is our face.
We also want to know, you would fight for us. That even if we screw up, you are still going to come to our rescue and you are going to stare down whomever or whatever is standing in your way and say " I will fight with all my power to save my marriage" We want to know you will fight for us, that you won't roll over and say "whatever" we want to know that no matter what, you will come after us when we try to run away and take us in your arms and tell us everything is going to be okay, even when you don't honestly know how long it's going to take before it is truly okay. We want to know you aren't going to throw in the towel, give up the fight.
As human beings, we all have this same need. We seek comfort and when we stop feeling it, we keep looking. Maybe in a best friend, maybe in an online forum or chat room, or maybe with that single parent at the park who looks you in the eyes when you are speaking to them and who tells you, everything is going to be ok. We just need to know that. Maybe it's isn't fair to say it's a woman thing. Truth be told, women want to be rescued. We want a knight, we want a soldier, a man in control of the issues, in control of what is happening. We want someone to be our rock. When times are tough we want to be able to crumble and be scared and have our significant other, come in swinging in on his rope like Tarzan to scoop us up and take care of us, and tell us, nothing is going to hurt you, nothing is going to make me stop loving you. Nothing is going to tear us apart. We want to hear the Might Mouse theme song playing in the background as our man comes to our rescue, either mentally or physically. It doesn't mean we're weak, or that we lack something in us to be in control and take care of business. Because, anyone who has a mom in their life, sees how tough we women can be. It's just that we don't always want to be the strong one. We want someone who will come in and take control and take care of us, instead of us always having to be the one to take care of everyone else.
My favorite line from the show today was from a clip for next week's show.. he said " I will do everything in my power to save my marriage... and I have a LOT of power" RAWR!
Because it's also Music Monday, I'm going to post this song, because it is one of my favorites
Smashing Pumpkins- Luna