Monday, September 15, 2008

So i was thinking....

I was thinking, if I could go back to high school and have a 'do over', would I jump at the chance? My initial reaction is to say, no WAY! I wouldn't want to go back for anything. Then I thought about it some more and my answer changed.


High school for me was a great experience. Sure there was drama, sure there was tragedy(that's another blog, for another day) sure there was heart break and hard times. What stands out to me is the fact I really was naive about a lot of things that would crop up later in my life.


I really wish I had paid more attention in History class and even psychology class. I really wish I had looked at it as a time of learning, instead of a time to sow my proverbial oats. Don't get me wrong, a lot of who I am today, even this many years later, are a direct result of who I was in high school. The people I met, the boyfriends I had. Even the teachers, some of them, made me who I am. For instance, where would I be today had I not had Mr. Farthing to turn to when I needed an ear that day? Who knows? Where would I be without the experiences I had, both good and bad? It seems almost trivial to look back on it and pick apart what I would do and what I would change.

Would I choose the same boyfriends? Probably. Would I have the same friends? Most definitely. Even with the negatives, the experience as a whole was worthwhile and exciting. I would wish though, that I could go back just to tell certain people, certain things, that maybe would save them a lot of heart ache in the future. But who am I to take away THEIR life experiences, of which made them who they are today? Some of the boyfriends I had, brought values to my life. Sure I have some regrets.. things not worth going over NOW, but if I went back, I would definitely never had, had that conversation with Shane Cowan outside the Sophomore hall. I would have held tighter to the people who actually meant something to me. Said thank you, to more teachers.

All in all, what I experienced wasn't dreadful by any means. Though at times it sure felt like it. Its why I am, who I am today. It's why I can see through people and reach their very core at first glance. Its why I can relate to people who may not have the same background as me, or the same upbringing, the same influences, but they, like me, all had one common goal in life, and that was to succeed, to grow and to change for the better every single day. And we did.

So i ask you, would you go back to high school? IF you could, what, if anything, would you change about your experience there? What would you say to your best friend, what would you say to that boy or that girl, that always roamed the halls alone and looking fearful. Would you now, with the wisdom you have now, embrace that person and get their story? What if that person was you? Would you reach out to more people? Would you change your recluse self, or would you keep being the same. Picture yourself, with the life wisdom you have now, and put it into the body of a 14, 15, 16 or 17 yr old. Think of the lives you could change. But would you? Would you change their lives? Or let them live as they were meant to, to become who they are, or aren't, today as a result of who they were in high school. Are there any grudges you'd let go of? Is there something you'd say to someone, that all these years later, you wish you had? or would you just leave well enough alone?

So my short answer is, yes AND no. I would love to go back, because I'd pay more attention to things and people around me. I'd take less for granted. I would be less focused on the boyfriend and more focused on the classwork, because in the end, what is more lasting? High school boyfriends? Sure, for some.. or is it knowledge? IBut, I also say no, because I wouldn't want to change who I am today, but going back and changing anything about that time. It's a double edged sword isn't it? School House Rock taught us Knowledge is power right? Or was that Sir Francis Bacon? What would YOU choose?

No comments: